Sunday, November 23, 2008

Relationships; and the Past and Present

Emotions created and felt by past relationships are important in motivating present objective quest and its moment-by-moment success or failure.

Prior experiences pre-sensitize us, predispose us to the expectations of certain operating modalities, expectations of feelings--but upon entering the scene they remain only emotional probabilities, ‘guesstimates’ on how we are likely to feel.

What actually will be felt will be based, in large measure, on what we desire from someone now, how our objectives are being fulfilled now. In terms of relationships, the present is noun and verb, the past only adjectival and adverbial.

It’s amazing how a lifetime of hate for my father can turn into love when my father gives me the ten thousand dollars needed to pay my debts. Or how much my fondness for my best friend turns into vitriolic anger when they betray a confidence . Or an impersonal business attitude can turn sexual when I walk into my sales partner’s hotel room for a business meeting and she is waiting for me undressed in her bed.

Past relationships emotionally predispose us; present reality, present objectives, fulfilled or denied, dispose us.

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